


(Second) Chance

by iCarly1969



Series: The Great Maze Challenge / Competition [11]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 22:04:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2483957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iCarly1969/pseuds/iCarly1969
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He looked up at the Gryffindor table and met her eyes. There was a defensiveness and a challenge, a little anger and the leftover of betrayal from the night before, where there used to be friendly exasperation and warmth. Possibly care. / She had never been his, after all, he told himself. He couldn't help but curse the fact that no matter how good he was at lying to everyone, he had never been able to lie to himself that well. / He looked away from James' smile and Sirius' smirk. / Lily was better off without him, always had been. Being friends with him, even for a while, was a mistake she should never have made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Second) Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Entry #10 for The Great Maze Challenge/Competition: What a sudden gust of [wind], but handled that perfectly. Madame Malkin has had enough though, so now you're on your own. You continue on but snooty man is in here spouting blood purity propaganda. Is he a Malfoy, a Black or another pureblood?

He had never meant to insult her.

At that time, he was humiliated and hurt, rankled by the teasing and the way their words cut too deep, however, he had never meant to hurt her. He knew that they could never be together, that they were never meant to be, however, he tried to at least be her friend, to be there for her. He never meant to ruin their friendship.

It hurt more than he thought it would when she refused to look at him in the corridors, and choosing to glare at him the few times she did so. He had tried to salvage their friendship, he really tried, but apparently, saying that word out loud once was enough to ruin it beyond repair.

As always, Lucius was the first to see through his nonchalant behaviour.

Except that, this wasn't the Lucius he knew. Before summer, Lucius was a person who believed, with all his heart, in what his instincts told him was right and not what the world around him tells him was right. Before summer, he was compassionate and caring in the cold way of his, willing to go the extra mile for someone he saw as a friend, not just an ally. Before summer, he was someone Severus could rely on to watch his back. Before summer, even though he was a natural at manipulating, he never used that skill without a good reason. Before summer, he preferred to take a neutral side and while he was ambitious, he had never seen fit to disrupt the lives of others. Before summer, he lived by the code of "If you don't disturb me, I won't disturb you."

This Lucius…

This Lucius was vicious, living up to the Malfoy reputation of stabbing everyone in the back. This Lucius was just as manipulative, and just as quick to use his ability to twist everything around to his own advantage regardless of whether or not it benefits the other party. This Lucius still lurked in the shadows, as a predator this time, out for weakness, when he used to be content with being safe. This Lucius was overly ambitious, suddenly actively spreading and publicising beliefs he had never truly believed in before summer.

This Lucius ruined his last chance at salvaging even a cordial relationship with Lily by openly sneering at her muggle born status in front of him and the gryffindors, then proceed to spout all the blood purity nonsense that Severus had never held in much regard, nonsense that Lucius before summer would have laughed at the idea of even believing. Severus had tuned him out, focusing more on his own potions book while standing to the side, letting Lucius finish what he wanted to say. He was not noticed, which was fine by him, and he did not notice what was going on until he heard Lucius saying that his opinion was shared by all the slytherins.

It was true, to a certain extent, but majority of them never acted on the belief and they had always respected people who excelled on their own merits, muggle born or not.

Severus had always been part of the minority who had never particularly liked muggles, but whose opinions on purebloods were never that high, either.

But that day, Lily had seen him standing in the corner and she had approached him at night, demanding to know if he had actually believed that propaganda, from the start. She wanted to know if he had just been playing with her the few years in their friendship.

He didn't know what to say. Aside from Lily, Lucius was his first real friend, and somewhere deep down, he still saw Lucius as the confidant he used to be. And while he had never seen the purebloods as better people than muggle borns, a lot of the muggles he interacted with and read about were never that much better, either. They were just as narrow-minded, if not more, as purebloods, and they were at least as dangerous, in their own ways, too.

So he kept his peace. He had clammed up and was unable to comment, and Lily took it as an affirmation. She had nodded, blinking furiously, the betrayal clear for a few seconds before being clouded by anger, and stalked away. Severus' world had shattered the day she had taken one word as the catalyst and left, and this time, when she left, she took with her the most important fragments he could not keep.

Severus could not bring himself to hold her back.

The day after, it was spread around the school that she had started dating James.

While Lucius crowed about how they were made for each other, the blood traitor and the muggle born, Severus had sat there and stared determinedly at his breakfast, suddenly losing his appetite.

He looked up at the Gryffindor table and met her eyes. There was a defensiveness and a challenge, a little anger and the leftover of betrayal from the night before, where there used to be friendly exasperation and warmth. Possibly care.

She had never been his, after all, he told himself. He couldn't help but curse the fact that no matter how good he was at lying to everyone, he had never been able to lie to himself that well.

He looked away from James' smile and Sirius' smirk.

Lily was better off without him, always had been. Being friends with him, even for a while, was a mistake she should never have made.

**Author's Note:**

> Every time he saw Lily with James when he was doing homework alone under the willow by the river, he felt that little well of hurt and could-have-beens start to seep through a little.  
> (Even though he knew that she was better off without him. Right from the start, she had never given him a second glance, and she was a gryffindor while he was a slytherin, after all. They were never meant to be.)  
> Lucius had became distant, and Severus froze him out of his heart, if only to preserve what the image of the person he used to know.  
> (But sometimes, when James' snark and Sirius' words hit a little too close to home and he had no one to turn to, he can't help but think that they were both bloody hypocrites themselves. They said that purebloods were the hypocrites, saying that everyone should get a second chance no matter what and conveniently excluding muggle borns from the equation. What they forgot, though, was that ever since the muggle borns started becoming the majority, the rest of the world had never even given slytherins a first chance, let alone a second. And wasn't that just so ironic?)


End file.
